Even though Redskins are required to dress up for road trips, the “Welcome Home Luncheon” is the best opportunity for players to show off their taste (or lack thereof) in fashion. At the end of the day, the annual ‘Dead-Man-Suit‘ award will be bestowed on the best of the worst.
In order to avoid such a distinction, some rookies banded together to avoid sticking out:
But when fashion is relative, and linebackers Rocky McIntosh and London Fletcher are the judge and jury, someone had to win by losing. This year’s dubious dresser was safety Kareem Moore, who was decked out in his blue pin-stripe Seersucker suit:
For the record, the gathered media was unconvinced that he was the proper recipient, and I for one thought he looked pretty sharp. Other members agreed:
For further explanation, I turned to lead judge and executioner, Rocky McIntosh.
“This is a very thorough process,” he explained. “If you were to take a look in the crime section of yesterday’s newspaper, you would see someone was found trespassing in the local cemetery. I found it my duty to find out: who was the culprit?”
As it turns out, winning the award is a lot more complex than a simple choice in outfit. Indeed, it’s a full-body analysis. Cue the dramatic explanation:
“After seeking advice from other vets–London Fletcher and Coach Jackson, among others–Kareem Moore beat out Logan Paulsen, Brandon Banks (a repeat offender), and PR staff member Daniel Sampson. Kareem won on the basis of evidence: having dirty finger nails, to all-day shuffling.”
Despite being a veteran himself, Moore was granted no leniency from this panel of judges. In fact, quite the opposite.
“He is a vet that should know not to dress like that,” McIntosh said with disgust. “This year’s award winner received a trophy and a hefty Nordstrom gift card so this wouldn’t happen again.”
Rumor has it that the message inside the card said simply: “Go Buy A Suit.”
Here’s a slideshow of the offenders:
Tags: dead-man-suit, Kareem Moore, rocky mcintosh, welcome home luncheon
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