Redskins.com intern Brian Tinsman listened to and transcribed an incredibly long podcast interview between Chris Cooley and Rich Eisen. I suspect we’ll be able to get a few different posts out of it, but Cooley’s explanation of his elaborate prank calls has to be first. It is quite possibly the awesomest thing you will read and/or listen to today.
Chris Cooley is a hard-nosed football player on the field, and a free spirit off of it. He recently had a chance to sit down with NFL Network host Rich Eisen on his NFL.com podcast, to discuss, among other things, his love for prank calls.
The topic came up when Eisen referenced an off-air conversation where Cooley had promised to prank call him the night before the show. For clarity’s sake, Eisen used to be a host on ESPN, and this is what Cooley said:
I really wanted to prank call you and make it be something that you’d be mad about, and then just bring it up, mid-podcast. I can’t remember who I was going to be. I was going to be somebody from Sports Center, and I was going to say that you were the absolute worst host of a show, it was a joke…You’ll get your prank call. I would have done my research.
From there, Cooley launched into a hilarious description about his history of prank calls with other NFL players. He also admitted that while he had previously told Eisen he had the mentality of a 17-year-old, he may actually be more like a 14-year-old:
There’s some fun calls to make. I’ve been calling A.J. Feeley for the last three years, and I actually finally ran into A.J. to talk to him about this, and it blew his mind that it was me.I call him, and I pretend like I’m calling Jay Feely. So the other day I called him and said, ‘Oh, hell of a job kicking out in Arizona this year. You’re a great player, man, I love watching you. You’re an inspiration as a kicker.’ So he had saved all of these voicemails.
Cooley said the reaction from A.J. was priceless:
‘Why are you doing this to me? I’m NOT Jay Feely!’ So for three years this went on–and Jay Feely, if you’re listening to this, I do this to you too. I turn right around and call Jay Feely.I don’t know why this is funny, it’s fun to do though. No, I don’t block my number. Occasionally [they call me back] I just don’t answer it.
He then described his most recent prank call triumphs. This is some serious effort:
So I tried to call [reportedly disgruntled Bengals QB] Carson Palmer, but I just got to voicemail. In all of these sequence of calls that I made, I only got to voicemail. I hate call-screeners. I tried to do my best John Elway voice.I told him I was [Broncos executive VP] John Elway, and I said ‘Listen, I hate Tim Tebow. I want you, I want you out here in Denver. And I know I shouldn’t be calling you, we can’t talk. You gotta keep it down. But we’re gonna make this work.’
So then I laugh for a minute, turn right around and call John Elway back. I talk to John. This is my childhood idol, by the way, and I said, ‘Hey, it’s Carson. I got your message and I hate Cincinnati, I don’t wanna be here. I’d love to come out to Denver.’ I mean, I accentuated these calls a bit, I’m giving you the short version.
Then I called [Broncos coach] John Fox [as Carson Palmer], and left three messages. And said, ‘John, got your number from a friend. I cannot get a hold of Elway, he left me a message, talking about coming out there. I know this isn’t the right time, but if you’ve got anything, if you know anything, call me.’
And then, to finish the sequence, I called [Bengals head coach] Marvin Lewis. I really made these calls. I said ‘Listen, I’d prefer to be an unnamed General Manager,’ but in the background I had someone yell ‘Hey Bruce!’ And I said, ‘There’s just a lot of tampering going on between the Denver Broncos and your quarterback.’
Then I actually went ahead and tweeted to Chad Ochocinco, from my twitter account (@thecooleyzone), I said ‘I heard Carson Palmer’s going to Denver. Is there any truth to that?’ That was fun! He didn’t respond. I don’t know why he didn’t respond.”
As proof, sure enough, here’s the tweet:
This is an amusing story during a tense time for the NFL and its players. It’s nice to see a player have a little fun, but Cooley also takes precaution not to cross too many lines:
“No, I got a couple calls back. No message. I don’t know who called back. I’m gonna say that it was probably Carson Palmer that called me back. I didn’t speak to any of them. But it was fun, it was a good time, it was all in good fun. I left my number to all the calls, so I mean, they can feel free to call me when the lockout’s over, and tell me I’m a [jerk].”
I would love to hear the return messages when the other “participants” give him a call back.
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