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Ex-Redskins Coach’s Daughter’s Dog Does A Mock Draft

Posted by Matt Terl on April 26, 2011 – 4:30 pm

I have spent literally thousands of words trying to explain why I think that mock drafts can be kind of ridiculous. I may or may not have been successful; I leave that to you folks to judge.

Over at National Football Post, Stephanie Turner — actress and daughter of former Redskins head coach Norv Turner — spends around 600 words to explain why she thinks that mock drafts can be kind of ridiculous. She is reasonably successful, provided that you actually have the attention span to read 600 words.

But Turner also posts at her own site, FootballBrat.com. And over there, she finds a much more effective way of illustrating the ridiculousness of mock drafts: she lets her adorable dachshund Bocephus conduct his own mock draft. And I see no reason to believe that Bocephus is going to be less accurate than anyone else; Bocephus, at least, didn’t spend all last year guaranteeing that Jimmy Clausen would be going to the Redskins at fourth overall.

The dachshund thinks that the Redskins will be taking Blaine Gabbert, the quarterback out of Missouri. I trust that the folks at DC Pro Sports Report will be including this in their comprehensive mock draft database.

I’m skeptical of mock drafts. I wasn’t a big fan of Stephanie Turner’s father as head coach of the Redskins. But I absolutely love dachshunds, so I’m 100% onboard with this pick. If this turns out to be correct, I look forward to next year when we get to see Bocephus and Mel Kiper debate Andrew Luck on a splitscreen.

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Lorenzo Alexander Eludes The Media In A Prius

Posted by Matt Terl on April 26, 2011 – 1:20 pm

The media was outside the gates when I showed up at work this morning, cameras pointed out toward Loudoun County Parkway in the hopes of acquiring footage of a player showing up at Redskins Park in the lull between Judge Susan Nelson’s ruling yesterday and the NFL’s appeal. They waved cheerfully at me but made no move to actually record my arrival; no matter how long I work at Redskins Park, no one will ever mistake my beat-up Hyundai for a player’s car.

Media Sits Outside isn’t much of a story, but it beats writing up yet another mock draft, so I grabbed my Flip Camera and walked out to join them. At the very least, I thought it might be a cute bit for the blog — “How long have you been waiting, how late will you stay, etc.”

And that’s all it started out as. It was a gorgeous morning, one of the few we’ll have that feels more like Spring and less like late Winter or early Summer, and the media folks were happily reading tweets and texts from their opposite numbers in much less temperate places like Minnesota and Green Bay.

The banter was solid, and would’ve made for a mildly entertaining if unremarkable blog post. AP reporter Joseph White had biked to the stakeout and was still dressed for cycling, and threatened to stick around for two years. WUSA-9’s Dave “Satch” Satchell joked good-naturedly about NBC4 having beaten him to the site that morning … and then a car turned into the driveway.

“There’s a car coming,” I said, “so I’ll let you guys get back to work.”

It was a clean white Toyota, with an Eastern’s Automotive front tag, and the entire media corps reacted to it pretty much as they had to my Hyundai. “What d’you think the chance is of that being a player’s car?” Satch asked, rhetorically, as the car approached.

And then it drove by and linebacker Lorenzo Alexander waved out the window and continued on through the guard gate.

“Daggumit,” Joe White said. “I really thought that would not be a player’s car.”

Maybe not in New York, where — according to a Twitter report from ESPNNewYork’s Rich Cimini — Bart Scott blew past reporters in a white Ferrari. But Lorenzo Alexander has always been a different kind of guy, so maybe the white Prius shouldn’t have been a surprise. At least the weather stayed nice.

After the jump, the whole encounter in video form. Read more »

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