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Chris Cooley Plans A Jeff Gillooly Moment At The Pro Bowl

Posted by Matt Terl on January 28, 2011 – 10:40 am

Oh, wow. Look at that picture of Chris Cooley in that Pro Bowl blue jersey. If you’re a Redskins fan, that’s probably something you’d like to see again — sooner rather later, I’m guessing. And if I’m right about that … well, that’s something you’ve got in common with Cooley himself.

The difference is that you’re not actually DOING anything to help Cooley get into that uniform. Oh, sure, you probably voted for him a few hundred times, but now that the game’s almost here and the teams are finalized, you’re just sitting there reading this blog.

Not Cooley. He’s got a plan. See, Cooley’s already in Hawaii covering the Pro Bowl for the NFL Network and Sportsbuzz, and he think this presents him with a very simple opportunity to get the competition out of the way. He explains his master plan in a (sadly non-embeddable) video on NFL.com entitled Chris Cooley: Pro Bowl Assassin?

In lieu of embedding, here’s the transcription of Cooley’s plan.
“I know I’m not playing in the game,” Cooley says, “but I feel like just because I’m here, there’s some chance that I’m gonna play in the game.

“So I’m gonna head down to this luau. I know [Pro Bowl tight ends] Tony Gonzalez and Jason Witten are down there. I’m gonna see if there’s any way I can injure them. Maybe throughout the week, just like a Nancy Kerrigan incident?

“But I gotta honest: I was the second alternate, so I feel like the later in the week it happens, the more likely I am to play in the game. Because they’ll ask the first alternate if it happens today [Wednesday]. But if it happens Friday, Saturday? How could they not just say, look, he’s here, you know? He was the second alternate. Let’s put him in the game. It just makes sense. It makes sense to me, and I think it’ll make sense to the NFL.”

How could it not, really.

As noted, the video was taped on Wednesday. Today is Friday, and the game is Sunday. So keep a careful eye on NFL.com between now and then to see if Cooley’s diabolical plan comes to fruition.


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