So Devin Thomas‘s appearance in the latest Fantasia video made its internet debut this week, and whenever a player does something like this, the inevitable follow-up question is “Do you think your teammates are going to give you a hard time about it?” When word of Thomas’s R&B star turn broke a couple of weeks back, Dan Steinberg bowed to inevitability and asked, and, according to his report, Thomas believed that his teammates were “waiting to make fun of him next week, regardless of how his performance looks.”
It turns out that Thomas was absolutely correct about that.
“I’m surprised he didn’t take his shirt off in the video,” linebacker Chris Wilson said.
“When he runs up that hill at the end,” defensive tackle Kedric Golston added, “it looks like he’s nursing his hamstring.”
“Seriously, though,” Wilson said. “Devin Thomas: very impressed with him, ’cause I know how silly he is. He toned it down, he shot the video. The real test is gonna come when I hit all my friends on Facebook and on Twitter and ask the ladies what they thought of Devin Thomas. ‘Cause that’s what it’s really all about: they brought him on there for eye candy.”
Wilson stopped, thought about it for a second, then added, “I think his head might be a little too big for him to be a sex icon, though.”
I asked if he meant that metaphorically or literally.
“Oh, literally,” he clarified. “He got that big piece of football meat sticking out the back at the top of his neck. Watch the video again and look out for the meat sticking out the back of Devin’s neck.”
Wait, wait, wait. Football meat?
“You know,” Golston said, pinching the base of his neck, “the meat in the back of the neck.”
“Everybody’s got it,” Wilson said.
“But, see,” Golston explained, “you ain’t supposed to have it when you’re just sitting squarely. You might, when you’re rolling your head back, get some. But not just sitting still.”
There was some disagreement about if the presence of football meat served any real purpose. Golston said no, but Wilson had an elaborate theory.
“It stops you from getting knocked out,” Wilson said, at which point cornerback Phillip Buchanon strolled into the room and became an unwitting Exhibit A.
“See Phillip Buchanon?” Wilson asked. “He’s got less meat. He’s more normal. DBs, receivers, they’re usually more normal.”
“He’s got a crease there,” Golston noted.
“He’s got a little crease,” Wilson allowed, “but you got a guy like Kedric, and look at big Kimo (Ma’ake Kemoeatu), guys that are pounding that thing in there … my theory is, the more times you throw it in there, the more football meat you get in the back of your neck.”
“Wind up looking like a pack’a hot dogs,” Golston said.
But enough about football meat. Back to Devin Thomas and the reception he’s likely to receive.
“Oh,” Wilson said, “when he gets in this locker room, we gonna clown him. But I’ll tell you what we really should be talking about: we should be comparing his performance to Larry Johnson‘s performance, cause if you remember, he was in a Fantasia video back in ’06. We gotta go watch it and see who did it the best.”
It’s a late June Monday and Wilson had finished with his stint in the weight room, so we did. The song was “When I See U” and the video is right here. Check it out so you’re all caught up.
It’s a catchier song than Thomas’s, less faux-torch-song and more slickly-produced circa-2006 R&B, so Wilson initially seemed to be inclined to favor the new Redskins running back. That last right up to the 1:08 mark or so, when this happened:
“Devin won,” Wilson said at that point. “That’s it. Devin won.”
Really? “Yeah,” Wilson said. “Devin’s a goofier guy but he kept it serious. LJ … he looks like he’s on an episode of Sesame Street.”
If you take a look at the 2007 version of the Sesame Street intro you can see where Wilson’s coming from, although my daughter would definitely complain about the lack of Elmo in the Fantasia video.
The video picked up a bit after that, but even in the end Wilson stuck to his theory that Thomas was the clear-cut winner. So maybe Thomas won’t be facing quite as much locker room mockery as he expected — especially since, Wilson noted, “He did get to kiss her. That’s something.”
Tags: Chris Wilson, Devin Thomas, Kedric Golston
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