Happy Halloween From 1993 And Joe "Frankenstein" Jacoby
This was just a bit of serendipitous timing. Yesterday, with Halloween coming up, I was going through a drawer here in Redskins Park on a completely unrelated -- and, frankly, boring -- errand when I came across a press packet for something called Coca-Cola Monsters of the Gridiron.
Monsters of the Gridiron was an ad campaign from 1993 that involved 29 players being elaborately made over into mildly entertaining pseudo-horror characters. There were prizes, TV ads and radio spots, giant cardboard displays (like the one pictured to the right), and a call-in game.
I remember none of it.
(There's a reason for the odd number of players: it's one from each of the 28 teams at the time, plus then-Cowboys defensive lineman Tony Casillas -- as "Conde [Count] Casillas" -- doing the Spanish-language version of the ad; he's listed on the Coca-Cola News Release Fact Sheet as "Hispanic player/monster," as compared to "National player/monster" Randall "Rocket Man" Cunningham. 1993 suddenly seems like a VERY long time ago.)
The Redskins representative for this promotion -- which, according to the press release, "combines America's number one sport with the country's most popular soft drink in an effort that is sure leave football fans 'trance-fixed' to their favorite games," a phrase that is almost completely meaningless -- was none other than offensive tackle and original Hog Joe Jacoby.
Jacoby was in his last year in the league at the time, the final act to what would in any just world have been a Hall of Fame career, so "undergoing several hours of extensive make-up and costuming" -- again, per the press release -- to look like a football-playing Frankenstein, complete with enormous square football helmet, probably seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea.
The press release breathlessly assures us that the monstrous alter-ego "accentuates each player's most notorious personality traits."
For example, Cunningham was "Rocket Man" because was an incredibly gifted scrambler. Ronnie Lott was "Rattler," presumably because his legendary hits left opponents "rattled". I guess Tom Rathman's dominant personality trait was sheer lunacy, because his alter-ego was "Psycho". Craig "Iron Head" Heyward was "Iron Head" because his nickname was "Iron Head". And so on.
So I guess Jacoby was notorious for being a stiff, shambling monster of a man with an outsized square head. Nice.
Somehow, that's not quite as awesome as "Rocket Man," but it's still vastly better than Steelers QB Neil O'Donnell, whose "Night Raider" moniker sounds just a little questionable in hindsight.
More pictures, and a full list of players and their nicknames, below.
Here's Jacoby, after that extensive makeover. (Click to enlarge.)
Here's L.A. Rams linebacker Shane Conlan as "Conlan the Barbarian," the late Derrick Thomas of the Kansas City Chiefs as "Attack Cat," and Jacoby.

And here's the full list of players along with their alter-egos. Happy Halloween, everyone.


Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
10-30-2009 @ 4:35PM
Clyde said...
Not only do I remember this promotion I alos have an unopened albeit faded "coke can" that has a monsters of the midway shirt inside from the promotion.
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10-30-2009 @ 10:52PM
KILLCHRIST said...
Three words: Ironhead zest commercial.
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10-31-2009 @ 2:38PM
Paul said...
For Halloween, Im going to be sgillis0315
"You guys dont understand..Dan just wants to win so bad!!! Vinny has some great draft picks and were really getting better. Stop whining all you fans..Real fans dont whine!!!"
Now those comments ARE scary!!!
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11-01-2009 @ 11:17AM
willeyrd said...
Win my eye!!!!the man is an idiot, the coach is an idiot for playing Jason Campbell and until that stops then nothing will change and the beat goes on
11-01-2009 @ 5:54AM
malcolm.thompson07 said...
hi matt, i remember this, but only because u posted it up, pretty cool as it bought back memories of this as i was only 11 at the time but i remember it when i saw the pics, nice find, i would hold on to that, might be worth some $$$ in a couple of years time :)
GO COWBOYS!!!!
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11-02-2009 @ 6:25AM
dready1rasta said...
"GO COWBOYS"....on a Redskins blog? Stupid is no way to be successful in life boy.
11-01-2009 @ 10:42AM
Shawn said...
I was only 10 but I remember this very well!
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11-02-2009 @ 8:06AM
egirardin71 said...
This nostalga brings me back to a simpler time when the Redskins did not smell like poop every Sunday. Back then it seemed the team was never out of it and even years when they missed the playoffs you knew they would get it together and somehow be back with a vengence the next year. Sadly now the only thing to cheer for is that they don't embarass themselves to badly and that maybe the next coach / QB on the carosel will be the one. It is good that the Skins front office is finally getting the recognition it deserves being compared to the Raiders and Browns for the worst managed organizations ever. Way to go Vinny and Dan!!!!!
Where have you gone Joe Jacoby......, even an out of shape 50 year old version is probably a better tackle then Heyer and Williams combined.
11-02-2009 @ 8:09AM
punchdaclock said...
I also don't remember this ad at all, but brings back memories with all the names on the list. Nice find.
Later
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11-03-2009 @ 9:57AM
w_gielarowski said...
They did it in 94 and Ken Harvey was the "Jackhammer"! Good stuff
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