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A Brief, Mildly Embarrassing Discussion About Hot Sauce With Fred Smoot

Posted by Matt Terl on September 23, 2009 – 4:47 pm

Not too long ago, I did a favor for a guy over at the Try My Nuts nut company, which is — as you can probably guess from the name — the type of company that makes amusingly named hot sauces and spicy peanuts. (Really good spicy peanuts, I might add.) Today, I received a package of stuff from the company as a way of saying thank you, a generous and completely unnecessary gesture.

Good stuff, too: peanut brittle and those spicy peanuts and all sorts of other things. And, of course, a few bottles of hot sauce, each individually wrapped in bubble wrap.

Fred Smoot happened to be walking by as I was emptying the box out; I know Smoot likes hot sauce, so I called him over to see what we had. “I did a deal with Texas Pete,” Smoot said, “so I’ve got all the hot sauce I need for the rest of my life. Still, I’ll see what you’ve got.”

So it was a little awkward when the first bottle was of conVICKt Hot Sauce, the label of which features a cartoon bulldog urinating on a number 7. “Oh, see, that’s not right,” Smoot said, shaking his head. I gave an embarrassed shrug, thought about how glad I was that close-friend-of-Michael-Vick DeAngelo Hall wasn’t there and moved on to the next bottle.

Which was of Category 5 Private Reserve Hot Sauce, pictured above. That’s “category 5” as in “Hurricane.” As in, something else that Fred Smoot has recently mentioned not finding funny. “These hot sauce people,” he said, “they just don’t care about anyone, do they?”

And he walked away, leaving the hot sauce behind. Which was really too bad, because it meant that he missed the Dallas Sucks and Pittsburgh Sucks hot sauces.

Really good spicy peanuts, though.

(Many thanks to the folks at Try My Nuts.)


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